Am I Old Enough to Be Taken Seriously?

Author: Emma Waldman

I started my career in New York City, working as an editorial assistant for one of the largest publishing conglomerates in the world. Fresh out of grad school, with several years of internship experience in tow, I walked into the 52-story building with my head held high. I was to report directly to the senior vice president, an industry legend. She was poised and intelligent, and I idolized her.

During my second week on the job, I received her email invitation for an in-person meeting. Heart racing, I dashed through the doors of her corner office, which overlooked Broadway and West 56th. Expecting to receive my first real assignment, she looked at me and said, “Emma, I just received a package from IKEA. Would you mind assembling my new lamp? Let me know when you’re finished.”

I would love to dismiss this humiliating—yet humbling—moment as one bad thing that happened a very long time ago. But it still triggers me today: a woman approaching 30 with seven years of job experience under my belt. As one of the youngest people on my team by a decade, I’m often hesitant to assert myself in meetings or ask more seasoned colleagues for help out of fear of seeming naive. In these moments, I find myself back in the corner office, building my first boss’s IKEA lamp and trying to figure out her intentions. Was it because I seemed incompetent? Was it because my role included “assistant” in the title?

Or was it what I feared then—and still fear now—that my age makes it hard for others to take me seriously? Was I, in fact, experiencing ageism? (See the section, “What Ageism Is.”)

I needed to figure out if this insecurity has grounds in reality. Here’s what the research tells me: When you Google “age discrimination at work,” you’ll find article after article about bias against older employees and laws aimed at addressing this problem. In the United States, the federal government has protections in place to prevent discrimination against workers age 40 and up. Companies can’t, for example, legally assume that someone isn’t qualified for a job because they are “too old” to understand how to use a certain technology or implement the latest innovations. That said, it’s questionable whether these protections always work. Ageism against older workers still runs rampant in some companies and industries.

At the same time, these protections don’t apply to young professionals. This is a problem. A recent study revealed that young adults are often more likely to report experiencing ageism at work than their middle-aged and older counterparts. It’s called reverse ageism.

On top of this, Glassdoor released a 2019 diversity and inclusion survey in the United States, United Kingdom, France, and Germany that found younger employees (52% of workers age 18 to 34) are more likely than older employees (39% of those age 55+) to have witnessed or experienced ageism at work.

“Ageism cuts both ways,” Professor Dominic Abrams at the University of Kent told me. “It’s true that people often apply patronizing stereotypes to older workers, and so they are often assumed to be less employable. But younger people tend to be more exposed to all forms of prejudice and discrimination than older people—racism, sexism, and ageism.”

According to my research, this is what reverse ageism can look like: More senior or experienced employees overlooking feedback from younger colleagues on projects. Seasoned employees assuming that younger colleagues can’t be trusted with important tasks. Or younger colleagues being the target of stereotypical age assumptions.

When I explore whether these examples fit into my own work experience, I’m brought back to one moment that took place before the Covid-19 pandemic got really bad in Boston. I was in the office, talking to a fellow 20-something-year-old coworker about an upcoming assignment. We were brainstorming ideas for a new product when a senior employee turned to us and said, “Girls, can you please take your chatter elsewhere? It’s very distracting.”

My peer and I exchanged a glance—confused and a little bit shocked. While our colleague may have thought he was just asking for quiet, there were assumptions embedded in his comment:

• Assumption 1: That we are “girls,” not two grown women.

• Assumption 2: Our discussion was “chatter,” as if we weren’t working on anything of importance.

So no, not all of it is in my head.

I understand how it might be easy for people to mistrust those who have less workplace experience than themselves, but this mistrust ultimately works against all of us and can lead to biased assumptions. When older workers doubt the competency of those younger than them, they fail us. They are not helping the next generations develop transferable skills. They’re building barriers of mistrust.

Will It Get Better?

Discrimination varies from person to person, and for this reason, organizations often struggle to tackle these biases on a wider scale. You can’t force someone to think a certain way, but you can help them to better understand your position and perspective.

If you find yourself in a position like mine, here are few ideas I’ve started to put into practice to better my own situation. I hope they’ll help you too:

Start or join a working group for young professionals

Keeping quiet about discrimination at work can be both mentally and emotionally draining—and can bleed into your life outside of the office over time. It’s important to create a safe space to talk to people you trust about what you’re going through. If your company doesn’t already have a working group for young professionals, consider starting one yourself. This might take the form of a designated Slack channel in which you can talk openly and share experiences online. Or it might be a monthly Zoom call with a proposed agenda and discussion points. Either way, it will give people like yourself a place to talk about workplace concerns, find allies, and exchange ideas about how to remedy them.

Talk to your manager

Make your manager aware of the situation. They may have no idea what you’re going through. During your next check-in, share your experiences and concerns. They might redirect you to an HR specialist who is trained in handling issues of discrimination at work, or help you devise a plan for confronting the perpetrator. If anything, your manager will know to keep their eyes peeled for future instances of ageism. Raising the issue is the first step toward combating it for good.

Alternatively, your manager might understand workplace discrimination all too well, and can serve as a role model and mentor in the future. One of my workplace mentors is a woman who has just as much professional experience as her male counterparts (if not more). Because we’ve both fallen victim to other workplace biases (in terms of gender discrimination) in the past, she was sympathetic toward my situation. She knew what it was like to feel undervalued because of something that’s out of her control and offered me some actionable suggestions for overcoming these biases in the future.

Have an open discussion with the culprit

There’s nothing wrong with respectfully approaching the coworker who is demonstrating discrimination against you to have an open dialogue. Sending an email that begins with, “The comment that you made during Tuesday’s meeting made me feel uncomfortable. When you bring my age into a conversation, it sounds like you’re assuming that I’m not qualified to do my job,” is a great place to start. This could evolve into a larger conversation about ageism and how to overcome biases that might be clouding their judgment. If you feel comfortable, you could suggest working on a project together to build trust and demonstrate your expertise. You might even end up learning more about where this person’s bias is coming from.

You might find, for example, that the culprit’s behavior stems from an insecurity about their own performance and has nothing to do with you personally (though this is still not an excuse for their behavior).

Never forget your value add

When you’re put down by someone at work, it can be easy to forget your value. But I can reassure you: You offer a special skill set and a unique perspective, which is why you were hired. Figure out what your “specialty” is—whether it’s social media proficiency, communication skills, expertise with video or audio platforms, etc.—and use it to your advantage.

When the opportunity presents itself, remind your coworkers of what you bring to the table. You have insights and experiences that others do not. During meetings, chime in with ideas that highlight your skills and viewpoint. Take a quick pause and a deep breath to center yourself. You might say something like, “This could be a great opportunity to introduce a podcast,” or, “As a Millennial, I can speak to the fact that many of our younger readers are looking for content on early career financial planning.” Use your position to your advantage.

Most importantly, let these experiences inform your growth as you advance in your career. Don’t let the fear that you’ll never be taken seriously stay with you until you’re old enough to be considered “seasoned.” Set an example by trusting and asserting that young professionals know what they’re doing, and work to become the kind of employee you’d want to work with, years down the line, when a young worker approaches you for help.