Do You Ever Second-Guess Yourself?

Author: Tucci Ivowi

Once I was in a large auditorium filled with marketing and sales professionals who were gathered to attend a training program on the fundamentals of the coffee business. I was a brand manager in a company I had just joined. During the training, someone asked, “What’s the difference between soluble coffee and roast and ground coffee?”

It was a simple question. I knew the answer. But I still refrained from raising my hand. What if it was a trick? What if I was wrong? What if I wound up looking foolish?

It was my first day on the job as a new recruit. It’s probably best for someone with more experience to respond, I thought to myself. I didn’t say anything and someone else used the opportunity to speak up.

Turns out, I had the right answer.

This wasn’t a one-off scenario. There have been so many times throughout my career when I’ve second-guessed my abilities. You know the feeling—that nagging voice in the back of your head, clouding your mind with doubt and insecurity.

Imposter syndrome.

I finally told myself: You know the answers. You’re smart. You have to say something. I came to realize that even if my answer was incorrect, I would learn something new. The benefit of speaking up outweighed the emotional cost of my silence. I looked at the evidence and it showed me that no one in my organization had been penalized for getting something wrong. In fact, they had been rewarded for their participation.

After that, I made it a point to contribute. I began to share my point of view, whether or not it differed from the majority perspective. People began to notice. They said I had “leadership potential.”

Years later, I joined the senior leadership team of a multinational organization. I was working out of Ghana and heading a business unit for the Central and West African region. At the age of 36, I was the youngest and first African woman to have held that role. I was also the first woman on an otherwise all-male team. Exhilarating as it was, stepping into my new position meant that a number of employees—both men and women—looked up to me as a source of inspiration for what I had achieved and the odds I had beat.

I was already nervous to take on a more senior role, but those feelings were compounded by another truth: I was representing a group of people whose own careers may be helped or hindered by my success or failure.

My imposter syndrome snuck back in. I wondered, Am I the right person for this job? So I reminded myself that I was there because I was capable. I had to continue doing what I had done throughout my career: Focus on the job, give it 100%, and deliver results. Nothing more and nothing less.

If you’ve recently been promoted or found the job of your dreams but feel yourself being overtaken by imposter syndrome, I understand. There is probably a myriad of questions going through your head:

• How did I get here?

• Am I really good enough to be doing this?

• Can I handle these responsibilities?

• Will I make a fool of myself?

• Will my former colleagues think I’m undeserving of my promotion?

Based on my own experiences, here are five pieces of advice that can help you dial down the self-criticism and grow in your career while remaining true to yourself.

Acknowledge That It’s Normal to Feel Nervous

Imposter syndrome is particularly common when you’re new or a minority among a group of people whose appearance, behavior, or experiences differ from yours. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable. Remember that you won’t be in the minority of newcomers forever. Someone else will be hired or promoted at one point or another and join the ranks. Suddenly, you’ll be one of the old hands, and a part of your role will be to help the new person settle in.

In the meantime, a certain level of nervousness and doubt is good. It counterbalances complacency and can push you to work harder. When I shift my perspective in this way, it helps me get out of my mind and look ahead. Acknowledging your feelings, but also understanding that they are common, has a way of calming your senses by reducing the angst and reminding you to focus on your goal.

Don’t Harbor a Fear of Failing

Here’s one thing I’ve learned: The best people can fail, and the most unlikely people can succeed. The unlikely ones are those who fall, get up, and try again and again until they finally reach their goal.

Push your fear aside and focus your nervous energy on learning and adding value to your new role. Take it one day at a time. When you identify an area of weakness, own it. Think of it as an opportunity to grow. This is how the best leaders gain confidence.

I have always taken personal growth seriously, but I rarely wait around for my organization to send me to workshops or training programs. Most times, the best lessons can be learned at home or on the job.

I read a lot about my areas of business and spend time studying case studies relevant to my work. If you feel you don’t have enough information on your industry, read up. If you need to get better in a particular area, ask your employer if they’d be willing to invest in sending you to a course. If you want to improve your presentation or communication skills, practice first in front of family members who can give you honest yet loving feedback, and then in front of colleagues who can give you more technical tips.

That said, if you do have the resources, setting aside time to invest in your career development—both at and outside of work—can be incredibly valuable when it comes to getting ahead and beating the odds.

Doing this work will grow your confidence—but don’t wait until you’re perfect to put it into practice. Real learning requires trying and sometimes failing along the way. As ironic as it may sound, failure is one way of refining your craft. You learn everything that can go wrong, and you find solutions to do it better the next time.

Be Sincere with Yourself and Others

A big part of imposter syndrome is feeling that you don’t belong. But if you are clear about who you are and what you stand for, you are less likely to try to fit into a mold that wasn’t designed for you in the first place. It’s only after you are able to own who you authentically are that you can forge your unique path forward and become the kind of leader others want to follow. Being insincere with yourself is a trait that will lose you both supporters and respect.

Reflect on what makes you tick, what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable, and what values you stand for. For example, you might realize that you’re normally reserved and subdued in large meetings but are more comfortable stating your opinions in smaller groups. Think about how you can still contribute in larger settings without feeling intimidated. Or start small: Practice being your authentic self in low-risk environments until you’re more confident, and then it will come naturally to you.

Remember, You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers

You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who is skilled at everything. If you’ve been promoted, it means someone in a position of power recognizes that you have certain skills, and those skills are important to succeed in the role they are trying to fill. Like everyone, you are better at some things than others. You have strengths and weaknesses. It’s useful to be aware of your weaknesses so that you can improve and grow. But you should also capitalize on your strengths. Those strengths are what got you to where you are today.

For example, if you’re a people person, use that skill to increase your influence on your new team. If you have strong project management skills, volunteer to facilitate meetings. In those meetings, contribute to the topics in which you have expertise. Remember that you’re in the room because of your unique expertise, just as others are in the room because of what they offer. Your goal is to work together as a group to reach your organization’s missions or goal. This can’t be done by just one person. No one person has all the answers.

Find an Ally

If you’re still feeling like an imposter after practicing these tips, find an ally or a group of allies to be your support system. My allies have always come in the form of peer coaches: organic, mutually trusting relationships with peers I’m comfortable taking feedback from because I trust that they have my best interests at heart. Some organizations have a peer-coach program that matches individuals with one another. If your organization does not, there are other ways to form these relationships.

Ask someone whom you respect and get along with, and hopefully they will accept. It can be a simple ask: “I really appreciate your insights. Since I’m just starting out, it would be great if I could lean on your guidance and get feedback on how you think I’m doing in this role. Would you be my peer coach? I am happy to reciprocate if that would help you, too.”

The benefit of having a peer coach within your company is they see you firsthand at work every day. They observe your behaviors, witness your contributions, and can give you unbiased, independent feedback. They can point out your strengths (which will, again, do wonders for boosting your confidence) and advise you on areas for improvement.

For example, one of my pet peeves is people who talk in meetings just to be heard, even when they have nothing new to contribute. I tend to add my voice to the conversation only if I feel I have an additional point to make. My peer coach observed this behavior and told me to speak up more in meetings because my contributions were considered cogent by the group. They reminded me that when I offer my voice, I can influence decisions.

Their words have helped me grow from a person who didn’t feel comfortable asking or answering questions in meetings to someone who comes to the room with solutions to problems.

Everyone needs support, even leaders. They are smart enough to know they can’t do it alone. So don’t be afraid to ask for help.

A certain level of self-doubt is good because it pushes us to work harder. But own your strengths so that you see what everyone else sees: that you are not an imposter. You were hired or promoted for a reason, not merely out of the kindness of someone’s heart. You are there because you have shown what you can do. You are there because you’re an asset.