Encouraging Your Team to Be Open with You

Author: Amanda Reill

When you become a manager, the power dynamics with your former peers will inevitably shift. You’re now responsible for evaluating their performance. Their job security is contingent on you. Your relationships will, and should, change.

For example, you may notice a shift in the way your direct reports give you information. While the individuals on your team may have once felt comfortable casually sharing their frustrations with you, that may no longer be the case when you step into a management role. The founder of Pixar, Ed Catmull, addresses this reality in his book Creativity, Inc.—the story of Pixar’s company culture from its early beginnings to the strength it holds today. He said, “It simply doesn’t occur to [new managers] that after they get promoted to a leadership position, no one is going to come out and say, ‘Now that you are a manager, I can no longer be candid with you.’ Instead, many new leaders assume, wrongly, that their access to information is unchanged.”

This is a major challenge for managers. But access to watercooler information—what employees are disgruntled about, what ideas they wish leadership would listen to, what systems aren’t working—is critical to your success.

So, how do you maintain trust? How do you make sure your team still feels comfortable walking up to you and voicing their opinions?

Notice When Things Go Silent

When you’re a manager, you may notice that the frustrations your team feels about their work, company leadership—or you—go silent. And those frustrations are valuable data to you as a leader. But to assume no news is good news is not a wise option. Instead, start with the assumption that your watercooler badge has been taken away.

The sentiment, “For sure, boss! All good over here!” comes from people who are interested in keeping their jobs and not making waves. Being honest about frustrations in the workplace can be a risky endeavor, after all. Though we optimistically hope that we’ve created a safe place for people to challenge the status quo, when 36% of people are worried about losing their jobs, the reality is a bit trickier than that.

Team health depends on honest feedback. If people keep their frustrations quiet, they may begin to lean toward quietly quitting or leaving the team altogether. This is one reason it’s imperative for managers to create “psychological safety,” a term coined by Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson that she sums up as “a belief that one will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes, and that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking.”

How do you establish psychological safety with your team, which may now feel that being honest with you is a bit more risky?

Address the Elephant in the Room

If you’re new to your role, try to address the new power differential within the first one or two weeks. Explain to your team what success looks like in your new role, how it depends on the team, and how much you want to continue to collaborate with them, support them, and help them grow.

You might say something like, “Hey folx, I wanted to gather everyone together to talk about this next season for our team. I have a different role now and I want to use it to make things better. I don’t want to lose your trust in the process, and I want you to know that I’m committed to creating a psychologically safe work environment where we feel comfortable speaking candidly, disagreeing, and sharing ideas without fear of repercussions.”

If you’ve been in your role for a while and are just now noticing a change in openness, schedule a meeting with your team to establish some ground rules for feedback. It’s important to create a smooth runway for people to provide feedback by telling them where and when you plan to collect it. Can they send you their feedback via email, put it in a feedback box, walk up to you during the open-door hour, or share it over Slack?

Some may have their reasons for being uncomfortable sharing their views directly. Maybe they’re more comfortable with giving it anonymously or sharing it via another person because of your power differential. Provide alternative routes for communication if they’re having trouble communicating with you for any reason. This could be a designated person in HR, another manager, a team lead, or anyone else you trust to act as a responsible mediator.

Take Yellow Flags Seriously

People give you information about their temperature every day. When an employee begins exhibiting red-flag signals that they’re not happy, it could be too late. Learn to look for yellow flags. Here are a few:

• Pay attention to facial expressions on Zoom and follow up with people individually when something seems off. You could say, “Hey, I noticed you didn’t seem quite yourself this morning—just wanted to check in and see if you were doing OK or if you had additional thoughts about the meeting.”

• Assume that anything anyone does tell you is the tip of an iceberg. If someone brings a complaint to you, such as a difficulty with a coworker, there is a chance they’re holding back so they don’t seem disgruntled. Validating their concerns is important to understanding if the situation is worse than they’re letting on. You could ask, “How long have you been feeling that way?” or “What else have you noticed?” to see if the person has more to share.

• Any change in behavior is worth wondering about, such as a change in someone’s schedule, a lack of eye contact, or uncharacteristic quietness. Something like quietness isn’t a negative signal in and of itself, but the key is noticing whether something has changed. The behavior change may have nothing to do with work, but when you check in, the person may share with you a personal struggle that you’ll be glad you’re aware of.

The best way to handle yellow flags is with empathy and validation. Raising a concern feels risky, so your team members need to know that they can trust you before they’ll be willing to share their concerns. Start by acknowledging the person’s courage and initiative in trying to deal with a sticky situation or for opening up to you. Make sure you hear them out entirely before beginning to problem-solve, explain, or defend. For instance, if someone on your team has felt uncomfortable with the way a client was treating them, don’t be quick to dismiss it before hearing them out. You can say, “I know it was probably not easy for you to bring this up, but I’m so thankful you did. I can understand why that would be uncomfortable.”

When possible, don’t neglect the power of an apology. After thoroughly listening, consider whether you can offer an apology to the person for ways the company could have supported them better. For instance, in the case described earlier, trying to create a zero-tolerance policy for toxic clients and showing your employees that they are more important than the bottom line would give you an opportunity to “put your money where your mouth is.”

Optimize Your EQ

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is our ability to perceive, interpret, and manage our own emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of those around us. It acknowledges that humans aren’t machines, and they bring their emotions with them to work every day. An effective manager has a good understanding of how these emotions impact their team’s work and leads their team in collective EQ upskilling.

As you work to build trust and openness on your team, meet regularly to hone your collective EQ. Explore the following questions together:

• What personalities, communication styles, and working styles are present on our team?

• What do you each need from me as a manager and from each other as teammates?

• What processes do we currently use for resolving conflict, providing feedback, and generating ideas? How comfortable are we with disagreements?

• How good is our team with managing failure?

Gather the team’s answers to these questions, identify areas of improvement, and set some goals.

For instance, you may discover that your team feels like there’s a lack of consistency in how new ideas are rolled out in the organization. Maybe they’re not sure when and where to provide their opinions about changes that impact their individual workflows. Or perhaps there’s a disconnect between your leaders and those who implement their visions, meaning you need to build a stronger communication bridge.

Once you’re aware of these issues—whatever they may be—you can take steps to resolve them. This often starts by recognizing each person’s strengths and challenge areas, respecting them, and establishing workflows that benefit everyone. Sometimes it may also involve giving feedback to stakeholders outside of your team, particularly if the problem is trickling down from leadership.

The most important thing to remember when moving to managing people is that the dynamic will change. It has to. Addressing that fact up front and establishing new, trusting relationships with your colleagues will give you the best chance at a cohesive, transparent team moving forward.