Lessons from a First-Time, First-Generation Manager

Author: Kela Lester

One of the many lessons Black parents instill in their children is that in order to succeed, we have to be twice as good as our peers: twice as smart, twice as talented. This advice is ingrained in everything from literature to pop culture. Now, there’s data to back it up: Despite being among the most educated and productive, Black workers and other workers from marginalized communities are overrepresented in low-wage, entry-level jobs and underrepresented in senior leadership and executive roles.

While there’s extensive research on the glass ceiling and how to break it, there’s less talk about its close relative, the “concrete wall”—a set of obstacles that keep Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC) professionals, especially women, from securing high-level positions.

The concrete wall, as described by Ella L. J. Bell Smith, a professor of management sciences at the Tuck School of Business, “limits your capacity to learn and understand what’s [happening] on the other side—the culture, the behavior, the expectations, the rules. If you don’t know what’s on the other side, and nobody’s telling you what the rules are—or if somebody keeps changing the rules without your knowing it—you can’t play the game.”

So, what happens when you finally chip away at the wall and move into a managerial position for the first time? What should you do if you’re the first person in your family to navigate this new opportunity?

Here are three baseline lessons I’ve learned in my few years as a first-time and first-generation manager.

Start Within

Confidence is a cornerstone of leadership. Proposing a new idea? You need to display your expertise to get stakeholder buy-in. Hosting a meeting? People won’t engage with you unless they aspire to be a part of something larger. Setting expectations and giving feedback? No one listens to someone who isn’t sure of themselves. The list goes on.

Whenever you feel unsure of yourself as a new leader, take a moment to remember the unique upbringing and point of view that got you to where you are today. When I first began my role as a manager, I thought that the key to success was code-switching—changing my appearance, behavior, or speech to fit in with the majority group. It wasn’t until I gained the confidence to share and celebrate my personality that I realized my power. Tapping into my resilience, adaptability, and resourcefulness successfully positioned me to contribute to company culture, confront racial bias, and break unrealistic expectations. Once I was comfortable being myself, I not only pursued opportunities that were right for the real me, but could also bring another perception to ideas that others overlooked.

Whatever your own story may be, use your strengths to build a foundation of confidence. Then, add to it. One way you can do this is by emulating the leadership styles of mentors or managers you admire. Observe them, ask for their advice, and take on the traits that resonate with you most. These may be emotional intelligence, humility, kindness, creativity, integrity, courage, and even the ability to persuade others, depending on your approach. Likewise, leave behind the traits that don’t feel right, or that were more hurtful than helpful to you as a direct report.

Last, celebrate your wins. In my first leadership role, I tracked mine monthly in a draft email and pulled it up whenever I could use the extra pat on the back. The more you practice self-confidence in small ways, the more comfortable you’ll become. If you want a unified team to venture with you into the unknown, it all starts from within.

Step Back from the Trees to See the Forest

Your team members likely seek the same autonomy and authority that you’ve achieved in moving beyond the concrete wall, which leads me to my next point. Get comfortable relinquishing control of the details and ask for help when you need it. This may be tough if you’re used to doing it all.

Earlier in your career, it may have made sense to know every moving part of a project. While it can be hard to let go and stop exercising the technical skills that made you a great candidate in the first place, being a manager requires a new level of support—more listening and guiding others than doing.

When assigning projects to your direct reports, avoid the urge to micromanage. Give them a goal, a deadline, and clear expectations. Then let them figure out how to achieve that goal, reach that deadline, and meet those expectations. This will free up space for you to observe. Pay attention to their strengths, challenge areas, and motivations, and provide them with the support they need to succeed. In doing so, you can delegate meaningful projects to each person while also creating a culture of continuous feedback.

To pull your focus away from the “how,” it also helps to think about ways you can make the team work better as a collective. For instance, instead of taking the reins when someone is falling behind, use your energy to troubleshoot and improve workflows. Plan quarterly goals for each person and the team as a whole in advance. Create a predictable communication cadence, including regular check-ins and guardrails for feedback.

Now that you’ve finally arrived in a new position, this is your chance to make an impact on the bigger picture and allow your team members to grow in their own way.

Cultivate a Community

Companies ramping up their diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts are keen on creating a sense of belonging—an employee’s perception of acceptance within a given group. As a new leader, try creating a community instead.

Stanford University has a nice explanation of the difference:

Although “belonging” includes an individual’s sense of connection to and personal identification with the whole, “community” embraces an individual’s participation and belief in something larger than themselves. Creating and supporting a thriving community involves both collectively establishing a group’s values and norms and respecting the importance and responsibility of every individual in contributing to a shared vision and the daily life of that common good.

Building rapport goes beyond knowing your teammates’ professional goals. It’s about creating a psychologically safe environment. Schedule weekly one-on-ones with each of your direct reports and use a part of this time to better understand how their personal lives affect how they show up to work. The advice here is not to spend half an hour discussing your social life but, rather, to check in with people on both a professional and a personal level. Make them feel seen, appreciated, and heard as a human being, not just a worker.

For instance, how many children does a person have? How is their work-life balance? What cultural holidays do they need space to honor or celebrate? Do they feel that their work has value? Do they understand how their tasks are contributing to the larger organization? Even questions about what Netflix series they’d recommend or what books they’re currently reading can show people that you care about their tastes and interests, and help to build an inclusive space.

In a hybrid work environment where Slack or Microsoft Teams are the new watercoolers, tapping into the human side of the business—and sending a meme or two—clears the way for innovation with working relationships centered on understanding and respect.

My advice above all: Give yourself grace. Even as the diversity industry continues to grow, underrepresented talent remains stuck in the middle, with fewer growth opportunities or senior executive pathways. In breaking the concrete wall, you’ve made it through an immense systemic challenge passed down from the generations before us.