Mistakes Managers Make When Giving Feedback

Author: Brooke Vuckovic

Many managers view giving feedback as one of the most challenging and unpleasant parts of their jobs. Critiquing someone’s performance can be an emotional, anxiety-inducing experience.

Here’s the thing: No one is naturally good at giving feedback. It’s a skill that’s learned over time with guidance and practice. But as a manager, it’s essential that you do learn it—and not just in the context of delivering yearly performance reviews. In fact, many leading companies have been dropping annual performance ratings in favor of more immediate and ongoing conversations. More than ever, real-time critiques are part of daily life for managers.

Fortunately, you can take steps to become better at providing consistent performance feedback. Start by becoming aware of the mistakes you may be making and learning what to do to avoid those pitfalls.

Mistake 1: Not Winning Trust Before Providing Feedback

A manager who gives feedback without first establishing trust is like a director who fails to set the scene before their actors take the stage. In the absence of trust, your direct reports will have a harder time hearing, accepting, and acting on your feedback.

Think about it in the context of receiving feedback from your own boss. If they seem indifferent to your career goals, provide scattered feedback without direction, and try to control your every move, are you going to readily accept and act on the feedback they provide? What about if, instead, they take the time to understand you, share feedback in the context of your aspirations, and give you space to grow and learn?

Solution

The first thing you should do as a manager is to get to know each of your team members—including their career aspirations and goals. In your one-on-one conversations, ask: “What goals are you hoping to achieve in your role over the next six months?” or “How do you see your role evolving over the next year?” Some of your direct reports may be focused on getting promoted, while others may be eager to develop skills that will help them take on higher-profile assignments.

Once context has been established, and you’re clear about how you can support your team members’ development, you can begin to link your feedback to their goals. For example, you might say, “I know you want to take on more responsibility, so this is an area in which you need more development. One thing you can do better is …” In those two sentences you go from critic to coach. Showing your direct reports that you care about their growth through your feedback will further help instill their trust in you.

Mistake 2: Avoiding or Delaying Feedback

Given the discomfort of sharing feedback with others, it’s not surprising that your first instinct may be to avoid it. When you see an opportunity for giving negative feedback, for example, you may find yourself simply hoping the issue will resolve on its own. Or you may assume it will be easier to wait and deliver your feedback during a structured annual review.

But delaying feedback, or simply waiting for a situation to improve, helps no one. By avoiding these conversations, you’re doing a disservice to your direct reports and the overall success of your team.

Solution

Be consistent with your feedback sessions and build them in, rather than waiting until there is an issue to address. For example, if you’re giving a direct report an assignment—whether it’s something brand new or with higher stakes than their usual responsibilities—add “pulse check” sessions into the calendar for the end of the assignment or when the employee completes certain milestones. If an employee is supposed to win two new accounts, you could set up pulse checks for after the first three meetings, the negotiation, and the closure stages. These scheduled debriefs should include discussing what went well and what could have been done differently (their thoughts first, and then your feedback). By engaging in this exercise, you’ll establish a pattern for giving and receiving feedback in real time.

Mistake 3: Overdelivering Feedback … at the Wrong Time

As the saying goes, feedback is a gift. But too much can be overwhelming.

You must learn how to decide if a piece of feedback is worth giving, or if doing so would hurt the situation more than help it. This can be especially important (and difficult) when it comes to receiving and conveying feedback about your direct reports from others.

Say, for example, your team is managing a conference for your company. As the first day comes to a close, you overhear your supervisor complaining about a few elements of the event. Instead of stopping to consider if the feedback indicates a trend or just the opinion of one loud voice, you decide to deliver it to your team raw and without context. But in doing so, you alienate your team members and undermine your effectiveness as a new leader.

Solution

The solution is discernment. It’s your decision whether to share the feedback you receive from others with your direct reports. When you receive feedback for your team, remind yourself of their goals and then filter out any recommendations that won’t be useful in helping them improve or reach them.

Using the prior example, let’s say you received feedback that the sessions during the first day of the conference ran over the scheduled time limit. Several attendees complained about the ending feeling rushed and not being able to ask questions. That feedback, indicating a consensus of opinion among several people, will help ensure a smoother event in the future. Therefore, it would be worth conveying that feedback to your direct reports. On the other hand, if you receive feedback from one person that they didn’t like the topic of a session, you may want to keep that to yourself. The random opinion of one person may not be constructive and could take your team’s attention and efforts away from making impactful changes.

You also need to learn when to deliver feedback. While offering feedback promptly helps learning, there is one caveat: When emotions are running high or tanks are running low, it becomes even more important to filter and focus your feedback. For example, day one of a three-day event is not the time for a detailed debrief. Rather, it’s a good time for focusing on one or maybe two things that might be improved the next day, like technology issues, making sure people can find the display booth, and ensuring that all speakers follow the schedule. A week later, with all the feedback from audience reactions, satisfaction survey results, and other outcomes measured, a detailed debrief will be more useful. Delaying that detailed feedback will also help to eliminate blame and give you time to brainstorm solutions together as a team.

Mistake 4: Failing to Follow Up

Even if you give feedback at the right time, use the right words, and deliver it from a place of trust, it’s all useless if you don’t follow up. When you give feedback without circling back, your team members could lose their motivation and may be less likely to follow through on your suggestions. Without a follow-up, you may also not realize that your team is still struggling, or the direction you suggested may not be working for them.

Solution

For feedback to work, it needs to be consistent. After providing feedback, check in with your direct reports to see how they’re progressing with their development. It can be as simple as asking, “In our last check-in, we talked about you trying a different approach. How is that working for you?” When your discussions are grounded in context—connecting the dots between feedback and the person’s goals and aspirations—they become supportive conversations that promote ongoing learning.

Keep in mind that feedback isn’t just criticism. Positive messages demonstrate that you see your team members’ efforts and reinforce trust. For example, you could say, “You’ve been working on refining your visual representation of customer data, and it’s very noticeable! You’re ready to be part of the next presentation to the division head.”

Awareness of your mistakes will only get you so far—this foundational managerial skill demands repetition and practice. While it may feel uncomfortable or overwhelming at first, once mastered, it will pay dividends throughout your career.